Trey Reed: A Reflection on Being Single

Posted by in Faith | April 1, 2013


Editor’s Note: Trey starts this piece off by saying that he understands. I think it’s a good place to begin when explaining a new mind-frame or state of being. For Trey, his realization that Christ supplements our loneliness and meets our emotional needs opened his eyes to what it meant to be single. Thanks to Trey for sharing his thoughts on something we rarely take the time to consider.

“I have reached a point in my life now, where I understand that loneliness is supplemented by communion with Christ. I used to think that I needed friends, or better yet, a girlfriend to fill that void. I can’t count the number of times that I thought that I needed a girlfriend. However, resting more and more on God for emotional needs is a very liberating place to be. He meets them in every way.

I must say, that this time last year, had I been in a similar situation (lonely in the foreign city of Seoul, Korea), I would have been craving the attention of a woman; thinking that IF I just had a girlfriend in my life, things would be okay. This has always been an idol of mine, and it’s nice to have put God back in his rightful place on the spiritual totem pole; at the very top.

This new place in life is seriously making me rethink Christian singleness and whether it is right for me. I always knew it was legitimate, just as Paul says; but I never believed it was legitimate for me. In the back of my mind, I would say, “Yeah, well good for single people, I’m going to get married one day.” But I think if I had a choice right now, I would choose being single for a long time. I like it like this. And for as long as I can remember, I was always dissatisfied with single life. But that goes to show how drastically life can change when our priorities are straight and our idols are squashed. Sure, this idol probably has not gone away forever, like most idols in our sinful hearts, but for now, I’m enjoying life without it.

I remember a couple years back, my Aunt Patti giving me advice about being single (she was married young) and she essentially told me that there is so much to experience in being single; in life, in our walks with God. Her advice was very much in line with what Paul says about being single (which was radical in his day and still is), and at the time I didn’t understand fully what she was trying to tell me; and I think she knew that I just didn’t get it at the time because I had blinders over my eyes. But I understand it now. I understand.”

Trey Reed

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