Adam Hart: Rescue Me Captain

Posted by in Faith | March 4, 2013

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Editor’s Note: Don’t let Adam’s light tone at the beginning of this piece deceive you. He’s no stranger to the darkness and boldly reminds us of Psalm 34:17-20. Thanks to Adam for his brass and strength while relating his struggles with self-hatred and reflecting on how hard it is to actually give your anger and words to God. Lives are valuable. Relationships do matter. And anger can be weakness masquerading as strength.

“To a younger Adam,

Hey, me. It’s me… you!

In order to avoid the confusion of how I’m able to defeat the time space continuum and give you a letter, I’m just not going to explain it and hope you don’t flip out over the sci-fi nonsense (that you tend to look way too deeply into anyway).

At this point in your life, I know you’re getting picked on severely. You might have just come home from school and you might be crying to mom, hoping to seek comfort for what those bullies have said to you. Because of them, you will fall into a severe state of self-doubt, self-deprecation and self-hatred. I’m afraid you will get tangled within a twisted love of loneliness and feel like it is the only thing that can give you comfort. You’ll want to be alone with your thoughts and you won’t want to go back to school and risk giving people more motivation and reasons to dislike you.

You don’t know it yet Adam, but there is something growing inside of you called anger. This anger is the reason why you’ll yell at your parents, your friends and yourself. You will be disgusted by everything and it will be the reason you become more cynical every day. And when you feed this anger, it will feel absolutely amazing. When you see those people that despise you, you will yell at them and hope that you’ll be able to hurt them in some small way. But sadly, your words will be the cause of your own demise (metaphorically).

Every day your anger will become stronger and you will learn new ways to hurt people with your words. But unfortunately, you only think you’re becoming stronger, when in fact you’re becoming weaker; and you’ll miss the fact that there will always be a bigger enemy. Adam, there is no worse bully than yourself. You are the reason you still haven’t broken free of your struggle with self-hatred. You are the one that so willingly sits and listens to the lies Satan whispers into your ear. The devil has such a tight grasp on you that you will have no idea where to go. You will yell to God, “Rescue me captain, I’m at war with my demons!” And God will come and rescue you; but you must give all your words to him. It’s easy for me to write that; but deep down, giving up your own anger and your own words will be the hardest thing you will do in your entire life.

I know you have a hard time connecting with other people. But everything on this earth was created to help make our lives easier. There must be a reason for people building and creating things to give our lives more ease. The reason is that life is valuable. Yes that’s an incredibly cliché statement that embarrasses me to type. But people will become more and more important to you, to the point where you write stories and tell jokes on a stage for them as your career. You are a person and you are precious to people. It’s hard to read that, I know because we have had such a hard time believing it; but I guess I wouldn’t write it if I didn’t have some kind of preconceived motivation. I can’t really give you any advice other than this verse:

Psalm 34: 17-20
“When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.”

Adam, your relationship with God and other human beings is more important than anything in the world. Even grammar.”

Sincerely,
Adam

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